That Sounds Like Rock and/or Roll

I have to give credit to a friend of mine (B.D. Nevermind) for finding Plugged In Online.

When I first saw it, I thought, "Cool, another source for online entertainment reviews."

Yes, cool, if you want reviews from Focus on the Family. And I'm not joking. In their words:

Plugged In is a Focus on the Family publication designed to help equip parents, youth leaders, ministers and teens with the essential tools that will enable them to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which they live.

Fair enough. Let's take a look.

For album review, there are Pro-Social Content, Objectionable Content and Summary Advisory sections. For Radiohead's Hail to the Thief, the Pro-Social Content is "nothing that will turn our world into an Edan, but 'A Punchup at a Wedding' rails against someone for thoughtless, antisocial behavior."

OK. Now, an excerpt from what's objectionable about Hail to the Thief:

Because this disc is essentially a poetic stream of consciousness, several lines could be interpreted in a negative way. Angry about a relationship gone sour, lead singer Thomas Yorke says, “I will eat you all alive” (“Where I End and You Begin”). He says “With my X-ray eyes I strip you naked” (“A Wolf at the Door”) ... More blatantly problematic are uses of the f-word on “A Wolf at the Door” and “Myxomatosis.”

The reviewer apparently has a hard time with metaphors. Now, here's an excerpt from what's objectionable about Bruce Springsteen's The Rising: "He relies on Eastern mysticism and goes to 'Mary’s Place' to party his pain away. On 'The Fuse,' Springsteen coaxes a woman into bed."

Gasp -- Eastern mysticism!

More troubling is this reviewer's confusing Springsteen the artist with Springsteen the person. Springsteen doesn't coax a woman into bed. The person in the song does.

Humanities 101: The poet/artist/novelist/singer doesn't doesn't always refer to themselves when saying "I" in a song, poem, book or other work of art. Newsflash: Kafka did not turn into a spider, nor did he think he did.

Apparently, Jesus does not approve of method acting.

Besides its puritanism, the most troubling aspect of this website is that its critics have a profound misunderstanding of art. Metaphors and obscure lyrics are "nebulous." Radiohead's Kid A is a "downer." Some albums are "cynical."

Sometimes, art is a downer. It's often cynical or nebulous. It makes people uncomfortable. It isn't always what it seems. I have no problem with family-friendly critics helping parents filter the crap passed off as popular culture. In addition, sometimes art has adult themes or content inappropriate for children.

But these reviewers go beyond content and criticize the art itself. In an ignorant manner. And I didn't even get a chance to delve into the movie, DVD or television reviews.

All of this -- and more -- gets Plugged In Online a space on Zug Island's God Bless America links.